My ohhhh my...

So it's been quite a while since I've blogged. My usual tendency. These last few months have been uhh... quite an experience to say the least. But, I'm not quite ready to divulge. Just wanting to share that much has happened and much will be written... soon =)

NO WALLS Outreach

"Jesus Christ came to end the organized part of religion that was destroying HIS very being. When Christ died so did the walls of the Church, God no longer resided in buildings but in the temple of the Holy Spirit which was us, HIS people! Christ came to end all religion and restore relationship with GOD Almighty,that we all can obtain by just believing that HE is the son of GOD and thru HIM and HIM alone do we have access to eternal life. GOD has given "NO WALLS" a vision, to look outside the BUILDING!" ~http://www.nowallsoutreach.com

Who we be??

We are a group of Christ followers united in His name for His purpose.

Our first outreach event was held today at Fairmount Park in Downtown Riverside at 10 in the AM. Our mission: To meet, feed, and love on the homeless, the lonely, and the hungry. We split up into small groups in search of people to invite over to our gathering area.

I was in a group with two men; they did most of the talking. Mainly because I'm not so good at striking a conversation with complete strangers. I wanted to "observe" how they went about doing it. Aside from collecting some pointers, I was soaking so much in. I was marveling at the dichotomy of the park. A park that on one hand is filled with natures beauty, but on the other holds so much pain and brokenness. A park that I'm barely familiar with, even though I've lived in Riverside for over 15 years. You see, anytime I'd hear mention of Fairmount Park it was in the form of dire warnings never to go. Because after all, that's where all the homeless, drug addicts, prostitutes, and hoodlums kick it. Does that hold true to this day? More or less, I'm just not sure as to the extent. So, why decide to go now?

I go as a servant to my Lord. A woman desperate to walk in the manner in which I've been called. With pleadings for eyes to see as He sees, a heart to love as He loves, and a compassion that has no end. I am a soul that was once lost, but by the grace of God have been saved. I'd like to share that hope with others. Not by slamming a bible in their face or dragging them to church, but by loving them as Jesus loves me and as He loves all.

As we headed back to our spot, my heart stopped and tears sprung to my eyes. Before me I saw our vision unfold. Gathered together in love and kindness were my brothers and sisters, the homeless and the needy.

I met some people today who's faces and stories will remain with me. My heart broke as the reality of their world sunk in.... A mother whose husband was deported and is now living out of a van with her six children. A 15 year old mother of a baby girl. A woman expecting a child. And many more women and men with no homes or families to turn to.

This was the first of many more events such as today's. I can't wait to continue to experience the plans that our Father has for NO WALLS Outreach.

Time to take flight... yet again

A few weeks ago I received news that I would need to find new living arrangements.

Sighhhh...

I'm just far too familiar with such circumstances...

It all began once upon a time in my mother's home. To this day I do not know exactly what pushed her to do it, but she kicked me (along with my four year old lil girl) out. From that day forth I have been unable to establish roots anywhere. That's 'bout eight years of wondering where in this world I truly belong and why I can't find it. On top of my own personal pain, it is especially painful to have to pull my sweet Abby along with me. I want so much for her to have a place she can call HOME for longer than a year or so. Likewise, I'd like to be able to do the same.

How have I managed this incessant pattern of my life? By the mighty love and grace of God. There's not other way to explain it. We have yet to go without a roof over our heads and a place to lay in the night.

Still, I wonder, I ask, I plead... "What the heck God, where do I belong? Where is my home??" His answer every time, "With me."

Ughhhh... what bittersweet reality.

Yes, I know my place is beside my Lord. And I am grateful beyond measure that He has sacrificed His life for my pitiful one. But, I'm still stuck in this world until He otherwise says so and it would just be nice to stop feeling displaced.

So where has His gentle breeze guided this bird in flight? To the Mission House. The Mission House is the current home of four of my friends and fellow sisters in Christ. It happens to be located on Mission, hence the nifty name. I am looking forward to moving in by the end of March and experiencing God's plan for me, my sweet Abby, and the Mission House ladies.

Will we be there long? Only the the Lord knows! As He constantly reminds me.

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." ~Jeremiah 29:11

Holiday Blues

As morning arrived, I was quite confused and struggling tremendously to wake up, but as I continued to hear the dingdong of my phone in the distance I realized it was Christmas morning. Awww… people must be wishing me a Merry Christmas. Little by little I became fully conscious, but rather than finding myself filled with joy for this wonderful occasion, I found myself utterly depressed. Now I’m not talking a little bummed out here, I’m talking about a flood of tears and hurt.

You see, I’m a single mama with a teeny tiny family that I am not close to and that doesn’t believe in celebrating Christmas, or any holiday for that matter. And prior to my last two-ish years of singlehood, I had spent every holiday and important occasion with my Xman and his family for six years. Needless to say, waking up on Christmas morning and realizing that once again, I don’t have MY OWN family to spend the day with made me fall to pieces.

For a moment there, I began to feel somewhat selfish because I was feeling so bad for myself when I was supposed to be celebrating Christ’s birth. But believe you me, it only lasted a moment, and then it was on like Donkey Kong. I let God have it, big time. I didn’t hold a single thought or feeling in. I questioned Him and demanded some answers. Then, throughout most of my ranting and raving, I kept getting an image of a bird just going where the wind took it. With the image, the thought that I was like this bird, just landing wherever the wind blew me kept running through my mind. At the time, it was an image I did not care for. Fortunately for me, God did not offer any response to me at all. So, I just laid there in my bed and continued to let it all out until there was nothing left inside of me. When I was done, I got up and began to get ready for my day.

I had been invited to spend Christmas with a friend and his family. From the moment I arrived to their home I was greeted with huge smiles and big hugs. That family is amazing and they accepted me into their home and made me feel so cared for. Later in the evening, I hung out with another friend of mine. We ended up watching a hilarious movie and having a good conversation. Oh, and I can’t leave out that on Christmas eve, I spent the whole day with yet another friend and her entire family and had a wonderful time. We cooked, cleaned, talked, joked, laughed, and ended the night sitting by the fire place.

So what’s the point to my ramblings?? My point is that the hurt that I felt this morning was the hurt that comes from expecting things to be the way I think they should be, rather than accepting them as God designs them to be.

Ya, so I wasn’t with blood relatives, but I was with “family”. I was with people that God chose to bless me with. People who genuinely care about me, as I too, care for them. And I had an amazing Christmas. As the night came to an end, I remembered that bird again. But this time it wasn’t a bird being pushed wherever the wind felt like taking it, it was a bird allowing God to guide it and help it get to the place to which it belonged. The place that God designed Himself. The best place to be. I like that bird. And I thank God for allowing me to experience His answer to my questions.

Excuse my language, but WTF??!

So, after NOISE practice this afternoon I decided to stop by one of my favorite chicken joints (that shall remain nameless). I was doubly excited because for one, it’s some oh so good chicken, and second, I had found my “buy 10 get one free” card… so lunch was on them. And ya’ll know I’m B-roke! Anywho, the owner knows me in that I’ve been going there for more than 15 years kinda way. As usual he made small talk, inquiring about my studies in, what was it… criminal justice? Uhh… social work, and it’s going good thanks. Then the guy wants to know if I’m STILL single. And I’m like, ya I am =) So then, he’s all… but it’s the holidays! What are you gonna do? And what about New Years??!! You need to “group” yourself! Uhhhh… excUse me? “Group” myself?? So I tell the guy it’s all good and I’m happy being single. He just looks at me like I’ve all but lost my mind and asks, “So what do you do then??”. I school the man and inform him that I’m plenty busy with lots going on in my life and I don’t need a man. He remains silent, nods, hands me my chicken, and wishes me a good holiday.

As I walk to my car, perplexed, with chicken in hand, I remember a conversation I had not too long ago… A friend *cough cough* of mine was badgering me because I told him I was happy being single. He went on and on and on and on and on and on and on (I think you get my point) as to how ridiculous the notion that I was happy being single was. Then he thought it would be important to warn me that I'm getting close to 30, and I'm running out of time to find me a man!

WTF??!

Now I ask, ma' peeps… Why I gotta have a man?? What is so wrong with me being content as a single lady? Don’t get it twisted now, I’d like to find me a good man, but I don’t need one mang! And I sure as H-E- Double hockey sticks am not out there hunting one down like a cheetah after some wildebeest meat! Ya feel me??

Get'cho MAC on!

Although December 1st marks World AIDS Day annually, here is something you can do any time of the year to help support AIDS programs. MAC Cosmetics has established a MAC AID Fund in which MAC donates 100% of the selling price of their Viva Glam products year-round! There are many choices of oh so fabulous lipglasses and lipsticks available.

So what can $14 do you ask?? Well, besides making your lips look supa fly, $14…

Would produce 28 copies of free treatment and prevention information

Provides round-trip transportation for three people to attend support programs

Buys pantry items for nutrition program serving women living with HIV/AIDS

Buys formula for 15 babies

Covers the cost of school supplies for five teens affected with HIV/AIDS

Provides materials to support four volunteer tutorsBuys one unit of Therapeutic Recreation for one client

Pays for one food pantry bag, containing enough food for a family of three for one day

Purchases one Hospitality Kit, containing personal hygiene and grooming products given to clients upon entering a housing program

♥MAC AIDS Fund Factsheet
Check out http://www.macaidsfund.org/ for more information

December 1st is World AIDS Day

World AIDS Day began in 1988 when health ministers from around the world met and agreed on the concept of the day as an opportunity for all of us to come together to demonstrate the importance of AIDS and show solidarity for the cause.
We have only two years to go for “the goal of universal access to comprehensive prevention programmes, treatment, care and support by 2010”.

To achieve this goal, leadership and action is needed now. Governments must deliver on the promises they have made. Communities must encourage leadership of its members. Individuals must feel empowered to access treatment, to know their rights and take action against stigma and discrimination, and to know and use methods of prevention against receiving and transmitting HIV.

A few facts:

• During 2007 more than two and a half million adults and children became infected with HIV (Human Immunodeficiency Virus), the virus that causes AIDS. By the end of the year, an estimated 33 million people worldwide were living with HIV/AIDS. The year also saw two million deaths from AIDS, despite recent improvements in access to antiretroviral treatment.
• More than 25 million people have died of AIDS since 1981.
• Africa has 11.6 million AIDS orphans.
• At the end of 2007, women accounted for 50% of all adults living with HIV worldwide, and for 59% in sub-Saharan Africa.
• Young people (under 25 years old) account for half of all new HIV infections worldwide.
• In developing and transitional countries, 9.7 million people are in immediate need of life-saving AIDS drugs; of these, only 2.99 million (31%) are receiving the drugs.

Visit http://www.worldaidscampaign.org/en to find out how you can help STOP AIDS and KEEP THE PROMISE