Beauty from Pain

Born into the pit of destruction
Clothed in filth, fed with perversion
Stripped from a carefree existence
Besieged and abused with evil persistence
Only to be left alone in great despair
Not one of them around, not one of them with a single once of care
Forced to wander through the deep dark halls
Desperate for someone to hear my grieving calls
A child still with no direction
Hating each moment I gazed into my own reflection
Eyes so big, black empty, broken and dead
Slipping deeper into the darkness as the enemy gracefully led
He pulled me close and held me tight
Flowing from his lips deceitful whisperings showing me how to set things right
Drink from the rivers of luscious wine
Follow me closely, do not go astray, you are not quite yet mine
Give yourself away, mind body and soul
Listen carefully, we have not yet reached the goal
Deny His name for He has not shown Himself to you
Instead declare my name and promise to me you will always be true
I did as he wanted
Drowning in self-destruction, exactly as he had plotted
Until the day in which I could no longer bear it
Falling in a heap, my flames of agony brightly lit
A shattered innocence, my stolen life
I cried out for help as I sought to overcome my strife
Through my loud piercing sobs of torment
The clouds of heaven divided as to me God’s ear was bent
He listened intently before speaking
Many days I have been waiting and weeping
Your pain has been my own
But from this day you’ve called on me, rest assured you are not alone
Be still and know I am your one true Father
All my love I will pour upon you, daughter
Completely undeserving, but ever so grateful for that moment
When pure and glorious love replaced my torment
I am now ready to be all that this woman could be
With God by my side it is Him who strengthens me
I will discover my heart as he intricately sews it back whole
He will wash away the shame and sorrow that over me have taken such a great toll
My soul is being nourished by His truth
His grace and mercy returning to me my long lost youth
The journey has begun
And as each day surely brings the rising of the sun
Every day brings me closer to the woman I was created to be
As my Father in heaven fulfills His purpose for me
It is His glorious light that has broken through the black clouds and rain
Graciously bringing to me Beauty from my Pain

Fear Driven... without Reason

There is a constant battle with my insecurities
I find myself afraid of my imperfections
They take hold and threaten to choke the light out of my eyes
Who I was and who I am warring against one another
Each determined to reign over my soul
The fear is all consuming
Spreading like venom through my veins
Clouding every corner of my mind with darkness
As I attempt to see through its thickness
I unsteadily travel in search for acceptance
Stumbling with every step not knowing which road to take
Terrified of what I will find on the other end
Exhausted from the lashes of judgment and criticism
Shackled by pain and torment
This incessant battle threatens to overtake my existence
Hungrily awaiting my utter demise

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

His eternal living word is truth, and His truth is that which will set me free
For in His eyes I am purely perfection made in His wondrous image
It is the Enemy who wishes to keep me bound in darkness
But it is my God, my Father, my Redeemer who turns such darkness into light
Clever as he proclaims to be, the Enemy cannot withstand my God
Nor will he ever devour my soul
Try as he may to twist and turn my senses
My path will remain ever clear as my eyes lock, fixed and directed by my Savior
I will not give in, I will not lose hope
I am a warrior of Christ
A soldier for the Holy One
I will put on His full armor and I will wage war against the Evil One
It is with my Father’s guidance that I will be victorious
He alone equips me, builds me up, and makes me strong
He is the Almighty, the all Powerful
His Holy Spirit remains upon me
As I am His and He is mine
No one, no thing, no forces of evil can or will separate He and I

Eyes on Him

I fix my eyes one the lord
Steadfast and strong
He fills my heart with his love
His truth runs through my veins
Bringing life into the core of my soul
With every passing moment I look to him alone
For His plans are all I need in this sad and broken world
I am gently reminded that this is not my home
I am but a visitor awaiting his promised return
As he will lead me where I was always meant to be
Forever by his side in the heavens up above

I gave myself to him… then I gave myself to Him

I gave my heart, mind, body, and soul away
I lost myself in the midst of the commotion
I believed that with him I would forever stay
My hopes and dreams were wrapped in his existence
My decisions were no longer my own
My heart ached with deadly persistence
I was achingly lonely, but not alone
I was hurting and full of rage
I felt I could not function on my own
The moment came
I made the move
With great fear and full of shame
I called out His name
He heard my cry and beckoned me
He made it possible for me to finally see
To Him I belong
And He would forgive all I’ve done wrong
He filled my heart
And promised once joined, we would never part
As I forge through the valley He has placed me in
I rest assured my hand He holds
As I surrender all my being which He delicately molds
Moment by moment, day by day
He cleanses my soul
The process has begun
He alone will make me whole
For all my days I will rest assured
His promises He keeps