NO WALLS Outreach

"Jesus Christ came to end the organized part of religion that was destroying HIS very being. When Christ died so did the walls of the Church, God no longer resided in buildings but in the temple of the Holy Spirit which was us, HIS people! Christ came to end all religion and restore relationship with GOD Almighty,that we all can obtain by just believing that HE is the son of GOD and thru HIM and HIM alone do we have access to eternal life. GOD has given "NO WALLS" a vision, to look outside the BUILDING!" ~http://www.nowallsoutreach.com

Who we be??

We are a group of Christ followers united in His name for His purpose.

Our first outreach event was held today at Fairmount Park in Downtown Riverside at 10 in the AM. Our mission: To meet, feed, and love on the homeless, the lonely, and the hungry. We split up into small groups in search of people to invite over to our gathering area.

I was in a group with two men; they did most of the talking. Mainly because I'm not so good at striking a conversation with complete strangers. I wanted to "observe" how they went about doing it. Aside from collecting some pointers, I was soaking so much in. I was marveling at the dichotomy of the park. A park that on one hand is filled with natures beauty, but on the other holds so much pain and brokenness. A park that I'm barely familiar with, even though I've lived in Riverside for over 15 years. You see, anytime I'd hear mention of Fairmount Park it was in the form of dire warnings never to go. Because after all, that's where all the homeless, drug addicts, prostitutes, and hoodlums kick it. Does that hold true to this day? More or less, I'm just not sure as to the extent. So, why decide to go now?

I go as a servant to my Lord. A woman desperate to walk in the manner in which I've been called. With pleadings for eyes to see as He sees, a heart to love as He loves, and a compassion that has no end. I am a soul that was once lost, but by the grace of God have been saved. I'd like to share that hope with others. Not by slamming a bible in their face or dragging them to church, but by loving them as Jesus loves me and as He loves all.

As we headed back to our spot, my heart stopped and tears sprung to my eyes. Before me I saw our vision unfold. Gathered together in love and kindness were my brothers and sisters, the homeless and the needy.

I met some people today who's faces and stories will remain with me. My heart broke as the reality of their world sunk in.... A mother whose husband was deported and is now living out of a van with her six children. A 15 year old mother of a baby girl. A woman expecting a child. And many more women and men with no homes or families to turn to.

This was the first of many more events such as today's. I can't wait to continue to experience the plans that our Father has for NO WALLS Outreach.

Time to take flight... yet again

A few weeks ago I received news that I would need to find new living arrangements.

Sighhhh...

I'm just far too familiar with such circumstances...

It all began once upon a time in my mother's home. To this day I do not know exactly what pushed her to do it, but she kicked me (along with my four year old lil girl) out. From that day forth I have been unable to establish roots anywhere. That's 'bout eight years of wondering where in this world I truly belong and why I can't find it. On top of my own personal pain, it is especially painful to have to pull my sweet Abby along with me. I want so much for her to have a place she can call HOME for longer than a year or so. Likewise, I'd like to be able to do the same.

How have I managed this incessant pattern of my life? By the mighty love and grace of God. There's not other way to explain it. We have yet to go without a roof over our heads and a place to lay in the night.

Still, I wonder, I ask, I plead... "What the heck God, where do I belong? Where is my home??" His answer every time, "With me."

Ughhhh... what bittersweet reality.

Yes, I know my place is beside my Lord. And I am grateful beyond measure that He has sacrificed His life for my pitiful one. But, I'm still stuck in this world until He otherwise says so and it would just be nice to stop feeling displaced.

So where has His gentle breeze guided this bird in flight? To the Mission House. The Mission House is the current home of four of my friends and fellow sisters in Christ. It happens to be located on Mission, hence the nifty name. I am looking forward to moving in by the end of March and experiencing God's plan for me, my sweet Abby, and the Mission House ladies.

Will we be there long? Only the the Lord knows! As He constantly reminds me.

"For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope." ~Jeremiah 29:11

Holiday Blues

As morning arrived, I was quite confused and struggling tremendously to wake up, but as I continued to hear the dingdong of my phone in the distance I realized it was Christmas morning. Awww… people must be wishing me a Merry Christmas. Little by little I became fully conscious, but rather than finding myself filled with joy for this wonderful occasion, I found myself utterly depressed. Now I’m not talking a little bummed out here, I’m talking about a flood of tears and hurt.

You see, I’m a single mama with a teeny tiny family that I am not close to and that doesn’t believe in celebrating Christmas, or any holiday for that matter. And prior to my last two-ish years of singlehood, I had spent every holiday and important occasion with my Xman and his family for six years. Needless to say, waking up on Christmas morning and realizing that once again, I don’t have MY OWN family to spend the day with made me fall to pieces.

For a moment there, I began to feel somewhat selfish because I was feeling so bad for myself when I was supposed to be celebrating Christ’s birth. But believe you me, it only lasted a moment, and then it was on like Donkey Kong. I let God have it, big time. I didn’t hold a single thought or feeling in. I questioned Him and demanded some answers. Then, throughout most of my ranting and raving, I kept getting an image of a bird just going where the wind took it. With the image, the thought that I was like this bird, just landing wherever the wind blew me kept running through my mind. At the time, it was an image I did not care for. Fortunately for me, God did not offer any response to me at all. So, I just laid there in my bed and continued to let it all out until there was nothing left inside of me. When I was done, I got up and began to get ready for my day.

I had been invited to spend Christmas with a friend and his family. From the moment I arrived to their home I was greeted with huge smiles and big hugs. That family is amazing and they accepted me into their home and made me feel so cared for. Later in the evening, I hung out with another friend of mine. We ended up watching a hilarious movie and having a good conversation. Oh, and I can’t leave out that on Christmas eve, I spent the whole day with yet another friend and her entire family and had a wonderful time. We cooked, cleaned, talked, joked, laughed, and ended the night sitting by the fire place.

So what’s the point to my ramblings?? My point is that the hurt that I felt this morning was the hurt that comes from expecting things to be the way I think they should be, rather than accepting them as God designs them to be.

Ya, so I wasn’t with blood relatives, but I was with “family”. I was with people that God chose to bless me with. People who genuinely care about me, as I too, care for them. And I had an amazing Christmas. As the night came to an end, I remembered that bird again. But this time it wasn’t a bird being pushed wherever the wind felt like taking it, it was a bird allowing God to guide it and help it get to the place to which it belonged. The place that God designed Himself. The best place to be. I like that bird. And I thank God for allowing me to experience His answer to my questions.

Good Grief!!

So it's been forever since I've blogged and I'd really like to get back into it... but I can't make any promises... even though I know I should...
My sudden inspiration?? Reading poetry for Sandals' Art/Fusion and a lil conviction from up above.
First off, I've been blessed with the opportunity to participate in Art/Fusion twice now. It has been such an amazing experience. When I get up to the mic I am terrified; my heart is pumping my whole body is shaking, but as soon as the words start flowing out of my mouth I feel like another person. I feel strong and confident as my actual soul begins to speak.
Well all that being said, both times I was asked to participate my initial response was... uhhh ya right... no gracias =) Fortunatly, both times God had other plans than letting me decline. The first time he provided me with many many many truths regarding FEAR (cuz that's ONE of my countless issues). And what were these exactly? Here's my favorite and the one i try to hold close to my heart: Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go (Joshua 1:9) Ya, try backing out after He says that to you!! The second time, which was just this weekend, He reminded me that there will be ultimately two crucial questions that He will expect me to answer for Him. They are: "What did you do with my son, Jesus Christ?" and "What did you do with what I gave you?" Why did these questions convict me so you ask?? Well, it was more the second one. It's because one of the many things God has given me is an ability to write, and as long as I'm not writing I'm putting to waste His gift to me. Ughhhhh... right in the heart!!
So, now here I find myself... writing away...
P.S. I will also be posting some of the few poems I've written since the last time I posted one